Forgive me my post last night. I was exhausted, frustrated, and completely overwhelmed. Last night I announced that effective today, ABMF would go on hiatus. I also stated on Facebook that I would be taking a break.
Right now, I have a load of laundry going, the floor is vacuumed, and I have had some granola. I feel a little better about myself today and feel I need to explain what happened.
Laundry in the Wench household is a neverending battle. I love doing laundry. I throw it in, run it, and go about my business. However. I hate hate HATE folding the clean clothes. Half of the laundry in my home is clean…but in baskets, because I simply HATE folding it.
As a stay-at-home-mother, the household duties fall to me. Mister (sorry, Mister…) works every day and pays the bills, so it is expected that I will be the domestic diva I was made to be. But I rebel. I do not like folding laundry. I hate cleaning the litterbox. I do the litterbox, otherwise the cats would rebel against me, and I just can’t have that, but I would be lying if I didn’t look at the pile of clean laundry and think to myself Jeebus, can I get some help folding this crap? Because I hate it.
So last night, Mister says to me that he’s going to look into a laundry service. A white hot flame of anger surged through me. He’s seen how hectic and crazy my days are. How sleepless my nights. How dare he insult my housekeeping abilities? I’m trying my gosh darned best here!!! I was infuriated.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get it done tomorrow.” And then I made the little indignant sound he makes whenever he’s being facetious. Allow me to digress for a minute. I sigh. A LOT. I can’t help it, it’s habit. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, and Mister pokes fun at me by sighing heavily sometimes. But when Mister says something sarcastic or sardonic, he always follows it up with this sound, it’s like a little condescending snort that just sets my nerves on edge. So I retaliated in kind by imitating him.
He didn’t like that too much. But at the time, I didn’t like being insulted. But I get it, I really do. The laundry MUST be done. So today is laundry day. It is the only thing I will focus on, so it gets done. Tomorrow I will clean the abyss underneath my couch. The anger of last night is forgotten, and with resignation I will fold the clothes. It simply has to get done.
But understand this. I am a very overwhelmed SAHM to three children, and the two that are home during the day are my most demanding, my most high maintenance. I do what I can, when I can, but I am well within my right to demand some time to myself, doing something I like to do. I am allowed to demand that Merry gets some TLC, and does something that benefits no one but herself. I like to write. People like reading what I write. Therefore I will continue to write. ABMF will not go on hiatus, Merry’s Kitchen will continue to post recipes and food related stuff, and I continue to endeavor to build my little empire in the blogosphere. I’m not here to pander. I am here to be honest. I am here to be me. The chores at home will get done in due time…after I have folded the mountain of clean clothes.
*DISCLAIMER* This post was not intended to cause offense to the Mister. I love my Mr. Wench. Had offense been intended, I would have called him a poopy-head, among other things. But I have issued my mea culpa, and it is done.