Weight Loss: The Battle of the Bulge…


I love all the compliments I get on my weight loss (*cough 50lbs since November cough*)…But I feel that there is a very big *but* (no pun intended) here.

I am a compulsive eater. Food has always given me emotional comfort. But I couldn’t just nom on celery and be done with it. How it worked for me was I would get a craving, say for pizza. I could eat a salad instead but I would get no satisfaction until I had eaten pizza. I never craved anything *healthy*.

I always lost weight during my pregnancies, all over my body, but I would still gain baby weight. With SchoolGirl, I gained 13lbs, then lost 20 the day I delivered. With ToddlerGirl, I gained a scant 6lbs, and lost 25 the day I delivered. With BabyBoy, I gained 8lbs, lost nearly 30 between delivery and when I quit nursing.

Then my postpartum depression hit, and I began to gain weight again. I watched as my body shot to 217lbs in late October of 2012. I was trying to be active, and trying to eat healthier, but my depression, along with exhaustion from my son not sleeping well, beat those goals into a corner. That month, I was diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall. My appetite vanished, along with the cravings for junk. When you have no appetite, your body may send the brain a message that it’s hungry, but the brain tends to not get the memo. So, with my appetite gone and my cravings buried in the ground, I had to make a conscientious decision to eat. And I found I could eat healthy, and still feel satisfied. I began dropping weight. By December I’d lost a little over 20lbs. At my weigh-in last week, I was down to 171, 31lbs shy  of my goal weight of 140. Mister had made me a deal that once I hit my goal weight, he’d treat me to a 1/4 sleeve tattoo, but I am trying to renegotiate for a weekend, or the very least, a day at the spa…it’s right about the same cost as the sleeve tat, so why not? He had also agreed that when I hit 170, he’d get me a membership to one of those dime a dozen $10 a month gyms so I could start toning, as I am now flabby floppy. He’s lucky that I’ve hit a plateau for the moment…gives him more time to come up with a good reason to back out of *that* part of the deal…(sorry hon, “We can’t afford it” is not quite valid, considering *cough car parts cough*) lol. (Note: That part was written when my weight was 171, I am now 167, haha)

I am still a rather sedentary being, my only forms of activity being chasing my kids around. I don’t get much exercise, because it’s too cold to take TG and BB out for walks long enough to do me any good. That will change once the weather warms up a bit. I can’t wait to see how much starts falling off once I become more active.

I do need to be clear: don’t go conning your way into an Adderall prescription so you can lose weight. I have a diagnosed condition, and the medicine helps that, but also has its own drawbacks and side effects. I do not advise the above at all. I honestly only expected that the side effect of appetite destruction would make me lose maybe 5, 10lbs at the most. I do not eat a well-balanced diet. I rarely eat, (due to many different factors) and when I do I try to be mindful of the nutritional value, but even before, when my calorie app had me on a 1200/day calorie allotment, I found it very hard to eat that much, and I still do. That is not healthy, and I am trying to change it. 

Why don’t I eat very often? Well, there’s a few reasons:

  1. I will grab myself a plate of food and then, due to many interruptions, by the time my stomach says to my brain “Hey, I’m full, stop eating now” (This happens for most people at around the 15-20 minute mark), I’ve maybe eaten only several bites of food.
  2. Chances are, my Adderall, taken at about 8 am every morning, has released the second wave of medication into my system and I am simply not hungry.
  3. Sometimes I will have a plate of food, be chowing down, when suddenly, I guess maybe it’s a side effect of not having an appetite, I get this wave of “If you eat one more bite it’s coming right back up”. It isn’t nausea, and no, I am not pregnant…my body simply doesn’t want what it believes it doesn’t need. Appetite is gone, so therefore my body doesn’t *feel* hungry, and rejects the food because it feels it doesn’t *need* it. I am working on different methods to work around that.

So there you have it. That’s how I have lost the weight, and like I said, I do NOT recommend it for anyone. Losing weight is a hard battle, and in the end, you are worth doing it the right way. I never expected to lose this much weight, I thought I’d lose just enough to be the kick in the rear I needed to get me motivated, and I can’t wait to see how I turn out when I begin shaping and toning.


2 responses to “Weight Loss: The Battle of the Bulge…

  1. Pingback: Four Hours of Laughter and Fun… | ...and Baby Makes Five...

  2. Pingback: Weight Loss, Diets, and the SAHM | ...and Baby Makes Five...

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