The Long Road…

 add, ADHD, adult ADHD, advocacy, children, family, learning disability, life, motherhood, parenthood, school, special needs, mental health, mental wellness

Yeah, that’s how I feel at this moment…

When I first started this blog, it was just to document the day-to-day of life and motherhood as I navigated the transition from working mom of two to stay-at-home-mom of two and pregnant with the third. There were a bunch of shifts in the purpose of me posting. I chronicled some pretty good times, and I wrote about the upheavals too. As time passed and seasons changed, so too did my blog, but it always stayed true to the broadest aim of all: to honestly chronicle life as I see it.

One of the things that I did blog about several times was the frustrating battle with SchoolGirl’s school district in regards to suspected ADD. I became stuck in a never-ending circle of the doctor and the school district always throwing the other under the bus, leaving me frustrated and confused, clueless as how I was supposed to help my daughter. The principal of the school she went to last year essentially told me to medicate my kid, shut up, and go away. I have blogged at length, from a place of helplessness and anger.

I tried for several months to get SG in with a pediatric neurologist, and got nowhere. One center told me in November that they would send me a packet of paperwork. Once I filled that out and returned it, it would then take six months to get an appointment. I never received the paperwork, and my calls went unanswered. Finally in January, I tried another center that specializes in pediatric neurology and ADD/ADHD…and was told that they too were booked for some time out. I asked how far out they were booked, and she said that she had an appointment available March 19th. I immediately accepted.

I have not blogged about SG and ADD in quite some time now. I had grown tired of the doctor or the school dangling a tiny morsel of hope, a small sign that progress was being made, only to have it yanked away for one reason or another. I was tired of feeling like I was spinning my wheels, and at times, it got to a point where I would stop and think to myself, how can they be okay with all of this useless back and forth, tell me that their hands are tied thanks to this law or that regulation and then tell me “Your daughter needs help with her attention issues or she will fail”, like it’s my problem to solve? Are they blockading me in the hopes that I’ll give up and just medicate SG and then shut up and go away? Am I being an irresponsible mother by refusing to medicate her until everything else has been tried first, even if that means she struggles while I do all this stupid running around that is just getting me absolutely nowhere?

And in all honesty, I got tired of attempting to write about it. I didn’t care that maybe some other parent could commiserate and maybe feel encouraged to not give up either. I didn’t care that maybe some other parent out there would read my utter irritation. anger, and yes, despair, and reach out and say “Hey, hang in there. We’ve been there too. It’ll be okay. Have you tried blah blah blah?”

Today, SG and I went to her appointment. The doctor asked if I wanted to medicate her, and I replied “I don’t want to walk out of here with a prescription. I want to walk out of here with a diagnosis, if one applies, so that the school district will no longer have any excuse to deny my daughter.” I explained that the district wouldn’t do anything other than an action plan without a diagnosis, and that while the action plan has helped somewhat, it is still not enough. SG still struggles.

We walked out with a diagnosis. I promptly turned in a copy to the school. And now I wait, knowing that if they make me wait too long or try to deny performing the educational evals so that an IEP can be developed, they will receive a strongly worded letter full of litigious insinuations.

I know the journey is not over, and I know it won’t be over for some time. It comes with the territory. But at least, for now, the path is a bit more illuminated and the road is a little bit smoother…

I hope it stays that way.

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